As of Thursday, I only had two Warriors registered for this 4th Season of WARRIOR SCHOOL (launching tomorrow!!). I was overwhelmed with frustration and a bit of grief. WTF?!! Was the Universe telling me it wasn't meant to be this round? I am open to this as a possibility and trust in the divine, but WTF?? I could FEEL the energy of this round of Warriors-- the EARTH MAMA vibes were palpable. I could feel their mix of sassy and practical, powerful and magical, and sensual AF. But where were they??
My sister called and I burst into tears. My period had come HARD CORE that morning and it felt like an energetic and emotional dam had opened up. What should I do? I told her how I KNOW Mother Earth is in charge of this round of Warriors. I felt an urge to go into nature and make an offering to Mama Earth. To SURRENDER my ego's desires to have a certain number of registrations by a certain date. To REMEMBER that Mother Earth does NOT like to be rushed. There is no such thing as forcing or pressuring a seed to bust through the surface of the earth and bloom in the sun. F*ck. Once again I have to walk my damn talk. Once again WARRIOR SCHOOL is schooling me.
I remembered one of our guest facilitators, Anabel Vizcarra, sharing years ago about a woman's menstrual blood being sacred and related to the Mother Earth cycles. I felt called to go into the woods, give some of my blood, some red wine, and the ashes from the free form writing I had burned with my frustrations that morning to Mama Earth, with a beautiful mandala of flowers around it.
My sister was all in. Why? Because she's an F-ing Warrior that's why. She is magic and devoted. She "just happened" to have some blood red roses that were ready to be given back to the earth.
The day before I had gotten my nails done with shades of green and a pentagram star painted on my third nail. This symbol was coming forward strongly for this cohort of Warriors. My ego laughed skeptically at the idea of feeling the energy of the powerful cohort that DIDN'T YET EXIST. Ugh.
But what type of container does someone put her blood in? Ashes in? Wine in? "Oh yes! I have that tupperware container I saved from takeout last week!" I went into the cupboard to retrieve the tupperware. I went to open it and my mouth dropped open: there was a symbol etched into the plastic on the lid-- a pentagram star with a circle around it (see photo as I still don't fully believe it myself!). I laughed. Am I just hallucinating and losing my mind with all of this??
My sister and I went into the beautiful woods where we've gone many times before. I brought my takeout container of ash/blood/wine mix (this is sounding very biblical!! ;)), some flowers that were ready to decompose, and my sister brought the red rose petals from her bouquet. She said, "I feel like you should make a pentagram with sticks." I did, and arranged the flowers around it and sprinkled the deep red rose petals all around it in the shape of a circle.
I said a little prayer to Mother Earth, "Please show us what you need and help us to treat you better. Please help us anchor the Divine Feminine onto this Earth." I then poured my takeout mixture-- which now looked like charcoal water-- into the center of the pentagram star. It seeped into the Earth and I imagined all of my pain actually fertilizing the soil for the blooms to come.
My sister had one rose left in her bag-- it was a perfect bud (the rest were all individual petals). I placed that blood red rose bud in the center of the pentagram, on top of where I poured my offering.
We went on our way. I let go. I trusted. I remembered that Mother Earth blooms in her own timing. I surrendered to her.
The next day (Friday-- five days before the launch of Warrior School) I woke up feeling brand new. My energy had shifted. I was ready to be seen. I had an IG live interview with the amazing Christie Mann (another guest facilitator for Warrior School!) in which I felt like my purpose and vision were channeling through my words; I held a New Moon Visioning session and channeled a Mother Earth meditation that was powerful AF (and was honored to have two of our guest facilitators attend- Renee Benmeleh and Madeline Giles!); I had a sample session with a potential new coaching client who said YES. By the end of the day, I had 7 Warriors registered.
Over the weekend, I enjoyed myself. On the New Moon in Taurus, I attend a Beltane Blessing and Angelic Breath Healing offering by the amazing Madeline Giles. On Sunday morning, Beltane, I meditated outside with the sunrise as I listened to the lush chirping of the birds and croaks of the frogs. I watched as the sky opened up and rain came down. It was fertile and alive.
By the end of the day Monday, I had 9 Warriors registered (my minimum to run the cohort was 8!).
Today is Tuesday. We launch tomorrow. I am in full Trust that Mother Earth is bringing me the exact women that are needed for this magical and powerful circle. Will it be 9? Will it be 10 or 12? I know it will be perfect, and I am humbled by them already.
Why do I share this with you? Because as much as our logical minds and the patriarchal and white supremacist culture wants us to forget, we are tapped into deep and infinite sources of power, wisdom, and SOURCE within us. Through our bodies, our hearts, our higher minds and our spirits.
You have the Universe within you. You are held and supported. You can trust the timing of whatever you’re feeling into and going through.
I am humbled by Mother Earth and by the circle of Warriors emerging. I am honored to do this work. And my human self is STOKED (I never use that word!) to play with this cohort and watch as the Divine Feminine is UNLEASHED, yet again.
With Bright Green Leaves, Bumble Bees, and Butterflies,
For years now I have had this strange and powerful calling towards being a “Warrior.” On Martin Luther King, Jr. Day in 2018, I channeled the vision for Women Advocates Rising or “WAR” and realized when flipped on its head it spelled “RAW.” I strongly believe that being vulnerable, being raw, is the truest form of courage, of being a true Warrior. I have had vivid dreams of Women Warriors of past giving me messages for my leadership. During meditation, I have received clear messages of my purpose in this lifetime: I AM the Warrior Woman that Calls Forth Aliveness in Humanity.
But what the hell does this mean in the context of our current lifetime, living and working in the privileged existence that many of us have? How dare I call myself a Warrior when all my needs are met in every way and when actual war is taking place in our world? As we are confronted with vivid images barraging us of women and children fleeing their country by foot with nothing more than the clothes on their backs, it is calling me into a deepening of what it means to lead WARRIOR SCHOOL and this movement of empowering women leaders and advocates to rise and embrace their feminine leadership, to embrace their Inner Warriors.
These news stories make me weep with a deep grief. They call me to look at our current world and wonder: where the hell are we? How far have we really come? Depending where you are in our world, you can see current stories of an entire range of time all at once, like thousands of years are all spanning within the now. Some of us sitting in our privileged worlds, our cushy homes, on our strong internet, numbing our minutes with scrolling and wondering what we want in this lifetime. Others focused solely on the safety of themselves and their children, on having food to eat and shelter to keep them safe, on not being killed.
When I look out my window at the beautiful sun shining and hear the birds chirping cheerfully, it’s such a contrast to these images of war on the other side of the world, and even to the impoverished reality many face in my own country. And I am equally aware that this sort of suffering in our human race is not new. War, survival, greed, and the infiltration of the patriarchy and white supremacy has been operating sneakily even in the most privileged corners of the world. This is not the first war in our lifetime and it likely won’t be the last.
We are being faced with opening to and holding the tension of extreme PARADOX in our human existence. Our egos do not like this. Our egos want to compartmentalize our existence into neat boxes or buckets of “wrong or right”, “good or bad”, “black or white”, “light or dark.” The extremely uncomfortable truth is we are all of those buckets and every shade of grey in between. We are the victim and the aggressor, we are the joyful and the depressed, we are the generous and the greedy, we are the conquered and the conqueror.
So when you find yourselves reading the news headlines and judging and blaming Putin or Trump or Covid or fill in the blank “bad guy” of the day, you are also judging yourself. Because everything on the outside is always mirroring what’s happening within. Of course, feel pissed and take action when injustice takes place, your anger is important. AND know that it’s never as simple as we want to believe. We search for ways to find the difference between the Putins, the Trumps, the Covids and who we are. We couldn’t possibly do such atrocities. What the hell is wrong with them? If I just hate them and bitch about them, than I am safe from my own darkness or “badness.”
The truth is we also do this within our own lives, families and even within ourselves. Who is the current Putin or Covid in your own life? Is it your asshole boss or your impossible parent? Who am I currently making the bad guy that I can blame for all of my internal strife, all of my suffering?
So how do we operate in this world without giving up and giving in, without curling up in fetal position and never leaving the soft covers of our beds (if we’re blessed with them)? How do we step up as the Warriors that we are and take responsibility for our short time on this Earth, for being of service in this world? If time is not real and outside is a mirror of the inside, we must start by looking within and fighting the wars that are raging within us. We must not succumb to the patriarchy, to the colonialism within us, to our Inner Conquerers.
If we are privileged enough to not have to fight in a physical war, then we must contribute by clearing out and healing the wars within us. Even if I’m surrounded by no immediate “threats,” what are the threats or voices within me that will take me down if I let them? What are the fear voices? The blame voices? The one that tries to seduce me with “what’s the point, it’s all a shit show anyway?” or “you clearly aren’t important or useful, you’re just fooling yourself.”
Being a Warrior means stepping up through fear or challenges on behalf of something you believe in, something you’re willing to fight for, something or someone you know is worth it. What is that something or someone for you? Being a Warrior means suffering through child birth for the sake of your baby’s life, it means cramping and bleeding and still showing up to that zoom call to lead because you believe in your vision and the people you serve, it means letting the fire of the pain and suffering of life heat you and melt you and burn you into a more discerning version of yourself. One that knows what is truly important, one that doesn’t waste time on nonsense, one that easily sets healthy boundaries and will not tolerate the seduction of fear so that they can lead and fight on behalf of love.
The wars that occur are not just ones where villages are bombed and conquered. There are wars constantly at play on every level- the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual, within us and without us. Here are five ways to embrace your Inner Warrior in times of actual war:
We need you, and you got this.
With fierce loving, honor and respect,
Below is my latest survival guide for how to navigate our current reality with some semblance of sanity, health, joy and still being of service to our world when it’s needed most.
Tina Meyers is an Intuitive Coach and Feminine Leadership Facilitator and the founder of Women Advocates Rising and WARRIOR SCHOOL. She is a former attorney, and a seeker of creativity, courage, aliveness, and transformation in her own life and the lives of others.