For the past twenty years, I’ve unconsciously bounced back and forth between my feminine and masculine energies (yes we all have both!). I struggled trying to be respected as a female attorney and thought that meant I had to be more masculine and suppress my feminine. If I wear clothes that minimize my sex appeal, will the middle aged men on the other side of the negotiation table not wink at me anymore? If I never show any emotion, will I be a more successful attorney? None of this felt natural or right to me. I then quit that career altogether and moved into the personal growth and coaching world. At this point I was so done with pretending to be hyper-masculine, that I swung into feminine overdrive. I allowed my softer side, my nurturing side, my receptive side to come out (which felt so good!), however I found myself not getting things done as much and struggling to meet my work deadlines. Turns out I was now completely disowning that feisty powerful part of me that could lead projects to completion, direct the conversation and step up strongly as a leader- my masculine energy. What the what??
This past year I’ve started to delve deeper into what this is all about and balance out my own authentic energies. I realized that we all hold fears inside of us about these energies. If I own my feminine, will I still be respected as a leader? If I own my masculine will men still find me attractive? Men (or those that identify as masculine) deal with similar fears in a different way: if I express my feminine will I no longer be strong enough for women to want me? Will I be able to care for and protect my family? Will my guy friends make fun of me? Some are even afraid to own their masculine too much or they may turn violent or aggressive.
Turns out the most effective leaders embrace and utilize their full Masculine-Feminine range. The range looks different in all of us, irrespective if we are male or female, gay or straight. Some of us are more dominantly in our feminine energy and some in our masculine — but what does that non-dominant energy have to offer us? How might we uplevel our leadership (and our JOY) in life if we fully owned all the parts of us? How might we find freedom and success if allow ourselves to play with our full range?
Masculine and feminine energies provide a beautiful polarity that allows energy to flow—like a battery that has a positive and negative charge on each end. If you shut down one or the other, the energy source shuts down (picture the Energizer bunny coming to a halt). The polarity allows us to move forward with passion and purpose, to embrace our inner creative visionary and move that vision into reality. The polarity allows us to nurture and care for our loved ones (and even our team at work!) and still hold them accountable. The full range is KEY to being successful in life. And it is a total SHAM that owning all of it means something bad about us.
It’s all about finding YOUR authentic balance. As I’ve done this work, I’ve felt my leadership and confidence in life increase exponentially. My capacity to hold projects at work, clients, my family responsibilities, and my relationships with grace and power has expanded. I feel more clear about what I want in life and am able to make difficult decisions to ensure that it’s realized.
This topic is so rich and so necessary for each of us, and our society, to evolve to the next level. Where do you tend to hang out most on the masculine-feminine spectrum? What parts of your life could drastically improve if you allow yourself to play with that other energy a bit? Let me know in the comments below!!
With Love and Full Range,
Note: In two weeks, I have the honor of co-leading a cutting edge workshop on this very topic in the beautiful Polanco neighborhood of Mexico City. My co-leader, Alonso Rios, is a brilliant man that used to be an economist and now works as a successful coach. Alonso and I feel strongly that by owning the full spectrum of these energies, our world will heal (from love relationships, to work dynamics, to world conflicts).
This workshop is open to all genders (full range!) and will be a fun and transformational experience. This is my first time co-leading a workshop with a man, with a co-ed audience, so I’m pushing my own comfort zone on this one (gotta walk the talk!).
Please join us for “Queens & Kings: Embrace your Masculine-Feminine Leadership Range" to explore and play and grow your leadership!! #fullrangehealsleaders Seats are limited. More details and buy your tickets here.
Tina Meyers is an Intuitive Coach and Feminine Leadership Facilitator and the founder of Women Advocates Rising and WARRIOR SCHOOL. She is a former attorney, and a seeker of creativity, courage, aliveness, and transformation in her own life and the lives of others.