Someone beat the shit out of me the moment I woke up this morning. They really got me good- they knew every weak spot I have and went right for it. No mercy. And just when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, they beat me even harder.
They told me I was worthless and I was needy and I was destined for failure and that no worthy man would ever love me forever and that everyone else is better than me and that everyone knows I suck. They told me I couldn’t keep any of my promises and I’m a worthless coach and what the hell am I doing with my life anyway?? I felt more nauseous and heartbroken with every blow. They kept it up.
Finally, I turned around and looked them in the face and told them ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
Actually I looked myself in the face. It was me. My abuser was me.
This weekend, I spent Saturday morning with fourteen amazing young men in a juvenile detention center. Every one of them is less than half my age and has been through more than I could ever imagine—more than most adults have ever experienced. They have experienced trauma and violence, and grown accustomed to having the odds stacked against them. They are no longer free in the literal sense. They are locked up and many have trouble imagining how they’ll ever get out and if they can make it through life.
Along with the incredible women I co-led with, we were teaching them how to deal with “Head Trash.” We all have it. It’s the little part inside of our heads that likes to beat the shit out of us (see above). It’s the negative self-talk, the painful story that runs over and over like an outdated script.
The funny thing is, despite their circumstances, these boys astounded me with their amazing capacity to find the blessings in life, to look at the positive, and to persevere. They are wise beyond their years.
I left feeling inspired by them. And also realizing it is time to let go of the old story running through my head that I am not enough.
It’s been running through my head for so long that I’m starting to bore myself with it. It’s like a movie I’ve watched way too many times thinking it was a documentary and it turns out it’s fiction. It turns out it’s not true. And I’m over it.
The truth is I am MORE THAN ENOUGH. The truth is so are you. The truth is so are those boys, no matter what they’ve done in the past or what people have told them or what they tell themselves. The truth is we are all more than enough.
I don’t care what you do. I don’t care if you lie in bed all day or haven’t showered in days. Guess what? You’re still enough. You’re still a leader. You’re still amazing and worthy and capable and here with an important purpose in life.
If these boys who are in jail and who have never had anything handed to them can be so kind to me, and wise, and insightful, and focused on the blessings in their life, then who am I to sit on my privileged ass and complain about how unlovable I am? It’s all nonsense. And guess what? Even if I do sit on my ass and complain about how unlovable I am, I am STILL enough.
Woah. Take that in for a moment.
When your Head Trash rears its ugly head, I challenge you to challenge it. Look it in the eyes and tell it ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and remind yourself of the Positive Truth. The truth is I am amazing and lovable and worthy of a beautiful relationship and fun to be around and inspiring and a masterful coach. I am all those things and more. Now you try-- what are you? (I'm asking the real you, not your Head Trash Distributor. ;))
Today is Valentine’s Day and today I share all the love in my huge heart with all of you Beauties, with those beautiful, amazing boys who inspired me this weekend, and with my beautiful self. I hereby declare today the day to let go of the old stories of self-abuse and step into the greatness of who we are. Because why not?
What is one old story that you are ready to let go of today that is no longer serving you? What is the positive truth? Tell me about it in the comments below!
With Big Hearts and Worthiness,
Tina <3 xoxo
“It’s crazy not to win in your own fantasy.” -John-Roger
Tina Meyers is an Intuitive Coach and Feminine Leadership Facilitator and the founder of Women Advocates Rising and WARRIOR SCHOOL. She is a former attorney, and a seeker of creativity, courage, aliveness, and transformation in her own life and the lives of others.